Beer Olympics: Official Rules

Win the most points across a day of events, for your nation.

Players form teams of two to four. Each team chooses a nation, real or invented, and dresses for it. Choose four to eight events from this book; the Cup and Table Games in Part 2 are the standard program. Appoint an Official, who also keeps the scoreboard.

Rule 1. The opening ceremony

Rule 1.1. Each team enters, and announces its nation. One player from each team takes the Referee's Oath on the team's behalf, or a shorter version of their choosing. Every team drinks.

Rule 2. The events

Rule 2.1. Every event is played under its own official rules in this book.

Rule 2.2. Head-to-head events (Beer Pong, Flip Cup, Civil War) are played as a bracket or a round robin. Events every team plays at once (Boat Race, Rage Cage) are scored by finishing order.

Rule 2.3. Each team must enter a player or players in every event. No one player may play every event for their team, unless the team has only one player left standing.

Rule 3. Scoring

Rule 3.1. In each event, first place scores 5 points, second 3, third 2 and fourth 1.

Rule 3.2. A tie on total points is settled by a single game of Flip Cup between the tied teams.

Rule 4. The closing ceremony

Rule 4.1. The Official announces the results from last place to first. Gold, silver and bronze are awarded; medals may be bottle caps on string. The winning nation's anthem, real or invented, is sung.

• A water-only event, such as Flip Cup with water, played between each drinking event. Approved. The Commission recommends it strongly, and regards it as an event.
• Nations must be countries no one on the team has visited. Approved.
• Bonus points for costumes, judged by the Official. Approved. No more than 3 points, which is still too many.
• Over seven events. Commissioner's Discretion. See the Commissioner's Caution.
• Doping controls. Prohibited. The Commission is not equipped.

A team loses a player during the day. May it continue? Yes, with fewer players. It may also bring in a substitute, who takes on the nation's colors and its record.

May a team protest a result? Yes, under Challenges and Instant Replay, once per event.

• Medal ceremony. Signal: the Official places one hand over their heart.
• Unsportsmanlike conduct. Penalty: Provision 4.9, and the loss of 1 point. Signal: warning (Provision 7.1).

Beer Olympics is not one game but a day built from many, and the Commission regards it as the summit of the sport. The archive's longest-running dispute concerns a nation that entered the opening ceremony as "Greenland" and was later found to have no connection to Greenland whatsoever. The ruling stood.

Run every event with non-alcoholic drinks. The ceremonies, and the anthems, are the same.

A full Beer Olympics is a long day. Read the Commissioner's Caution at the start of Part 5. Put water and food between events, and any player may sit out any event.