Up and Down the River: Official Rules

Hope your cards match on the way down the river, not on the way up.

Players sit in a circle. The dealer, who also plays, deals four cards face up to each player. Use two shuffled decks with six or more players. Only rank matters; suits don't.

Rule 1. Up the river

Rule 1.1. The dealer turns over four cards, one at a time, in a row.

Rule 1.2. For each card, every player holding a card of the same rank takes drinks: one for the first card, two for the second, three for the third and four for the fourth.

Rule 1.3. A player with more than one matching card drinks for each.

Rule 2. Down the river

Rule 2.1. The dealer turns over four more cards, one at a time, on top of the first four, coming back down.

Rule 2.2. For each card, every player holding a card of the same rank gives drinks: four for the first card, three for the second, two for the third and one for the fourth. They may give them to one player or split them.

Rule 3. The next round

Rule 3.1. The dealer collects the cards, shuffles, and the deal passes to the left.

• The counting round. After down the river, the dealer counts aloud from one to thirteen, turning a card on each number. When a card's rank matches the number (Ace is one, King is thirteen), everyone drinks that many. Approved.
• Five cards up and five down, with drinks up to five. Approved.
• Face-down hands, with bluffing, as in Pyramid. Commissioner's Discretion. That is a different game, and it is in this book.
• Give on the way up, take on the way down. Prohibited. That isn't how rivers work.

A player matches the same rank twice on the way up. Do they drink twice? Yes, for each matching card in their hand, on each card turned.

May players give drinks to the dealer? Yes. The dealer is also a player in this game, unlike in Ride the Bus.

• Up the river. Signal: the Official raises one flat hand, rising.
• Down the river. Signal: the Official lowers one flat hand, falling.

Up and Down the River is the gentle cousin of Ride the Bus, with no bus. The Commission notes that its geography is backward, since rivers flow down, not up, and has declined to correct it.

Play with any non-alcoholic drink. The river is unchanged.